I see what you're getting at and you're right. When I started out in New York and then went to Hollywood I had a slew of agents and agencies and it certainly was not like a marriage as some people feel it should be. It is a delicate situation at best, J.S. Kierland
Totally agree that it’s like dating. I’ve often equated the querying process to baseball, too. First base is the query. Second base is the partial. Third base is the full request, and home plate is signing with the agent.
I enjoyed your humorous take on submitting to agents. As I haven't dated in a while — in decades, actually — I must assume that your analogy is somewhat more current than I am. In general, the problem today is that, as a society, we have become unaccustomed to rejection — of any sort. To be successful as a writer one must inure oneself against rejection, if possible turn rejection into something positive. Since a year and a half ago, I have been submitting short stories — including stories created out of elements of the books I had previously unsuccessfully submitted to agents — to many publications and have been quite successful. Some might criticize this, telling me I have bastardized my books, but I look upon what I have done differently: my writing is out there being read. Possibly, an agent or an independent publisher will consider my books now more marketable — because, like all commodities, selling books is all about marketablility.
Hopefully the power structure is a bit more balanced in dating, although I know (from the books I read) that all too often it isn't. And I know agents are also searching for "the one." But agents are polygamists. Authors ideally are monogamists. I think querying feels like auditioning or presenting a portfolio to a gallerist.
I don't think dating fits just right as a metaphor for querying. I've never gone on 95 dates and not had a single response (I'm not that bad looking). To me, it's more like fishing. You have a lure you hope attracts interest and you cast it into different pools hoping for a strike and keep walking through the waters and banks and looking for new holes to cast in and never getting a nibble and finally concluding you have the wrong lure or you're a poor fisherman and should take up golf.
I've only been actively querying for a short time and decided right off the bat the whole thing feels like, not only dating, but specifically ONLINE dating. It feels like shopping for a partner, which for me is so uncomfortable. I met my husband of 20 years by chance in a dining hall at college. He was a friend of a friend of my roommate. And my heart wants to find my dream agent in a similar way, but there's no way to ACTIVELY conjure that serendipitous meet cute with your perfect agent match. Unless you can afford to attend conference after conference in hopes of getting stuck in an elevator with your book champion soul mate. It's hard not to feel like the whole querying process is very superficial. I only get a 2D impression of the agents I'm researching, and they only get a 2D impression of me. There's little room for organic connection in the early stages. Which is where most rejections happen. This is the hardest part of the process for me.
Thanks for this essay, Cece. Nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this comparison. 🙂
With dating you meet someone and it either works out or doesn't. Because agents get more than a thousand manuscripts a year, querying is more like being on "The Bachelorette;" there's a mob of guys performing to get the attention of one gal. It's as much about playing the odds as being the perfect mate.
This definition of "querying" is new to me. The old school definition of query is a query letter or to query a publisher, or agent. A query is a first a letter of inquiry, as is described in this piece. It originally referred to the letter sent before sending more of one's writing, or if a publisher required a statement of intent or description about a project.
I have an agent, acquired by default. Her partner was the agent who brought me aboard, and then she left the agency. The owner agent then "inherited" my account. We respect each other and get along well, although the type of material I write (literary) isn't her area of preference to represent. To use your analogy, it's as if I married someone who then died and the sister in the family then by custom had to marry me. Ha. But she's placed three books for me and that's the bottom line!!!!! :-) Or, again the analogy, it's like we successfully had three children together! LOL
I love this metaphor! Before finding the one, it's just as important to know what you don't want. It's almost just as important to know what you DON'T want than just falling in love with the first one who gives you an offer. I am not at the querying stage but this was such a memorable essay. Thank you Cece!
I would love Cece as my agent. I've always had her at the top of my list for several reasons:
- I write speculative fiction ( traveling memoir/thriller w/magical realism) which is in her list of submission interests.
- I am Latina ( please NOT Latinx) from neighboring Venezuela to her Brazil so she culturally would understand where I'm coming from re: myths and legends that infuse my stories)
- she seems a very nice person
- I feel the querying process has become like a black hole in the Universe. I'm paralyzed standing at the event horizon looking down into the abyss to the point of singularity every time I start writing that letter.
This is a lovely and actionable article. Thank you, Cece, for your candid point of view. We literary translators have little hope of ever finding representation: "Too little meat on the bone," we've been told over and over again. So instead we try to behave like literary agents for our author without the benefit of any training in how to be an agent. I wonder what your thoughts are on this? Thanks again, for your writing.
I see what you're getting at and you're right. When I started out in New York and then went to Hollywood I had a slew of agents and agencies and it certainly was not like a marriage as some people feel it should be. It is a delicate situation at best, J.S. Kierland
Totally agree that it’s like dating. I’ve often equated the querying process to baseball, too. First base is the query. Second base is the partial. Third base is the full request, and home plate is signing with the agent.
Hi CeCe,
I enjoyed your humorous take on submitting to agents. As I haven't dated in a while — in decades, actually — I must assume that your analogy is somewhat more current than I am. In general, the problem today is that, as a society, we have become unaccustomed to rejection — of any sort. To be successful as a writer one must inure oneself against rejection, if possible turn rejection into something positive. Since a year and a half ago, I have been submitting short stories — including stories created out of elements of the books I had previously unsuccessfully submitted to agents — to many publications and have been quite successful. Some might criticize this, telling me I have bastardized my books, but I look upon what I have done differently: my writing is out there being read. Possibly, an agent or an independent publisher will consider my books now more marketable — because, like all commodities, selling books is all about marketablility.
Once more, many thanks for your piece.
Eric (E.P. Lande)
March 23, 2024
Hopefully the power structure is a bit more balanced in dating, although I know (from the books I read) that all too often it isn't. And I know agents are also searching for "the one." But agents are polygamists. Authors ideally are monogamists. I think querying feels like auditioning or presenting a portfolio to a gallerist.
I don't think dating fits just right as a metaphor for querying. I've never gone on 95 dates and not had a single response (I'm not that bad looking). To me, it's more like fishing. You have a lure you hope attracts interest and you cast it into different pools hoping for a strike and keep walking through the waters and banks and looking for new holes to cast in and never getting a nibble and finally concluding you have the wrong lure or you're a poor fisherman and should take up golf.
I've only been actively querying for a short time and decided right off the bat the whole thing feels like, not only dating, but specifically ONLINE dating. It feels like shopping for a partner, which for me is so uncomfortable. I met my husband of 20 years by chance in a dining hall at college. He was a friend of a friend of my roommate. And my heart wants to find my dream agent in a similar way, but there's no way to ACTIVELY conjure that serendipitous meet cute with your perfect agent match. Unless you can afford to attend conference after conference in hopes of getting stuck in an elevator with your book champion soul mate. It's hard not to feel like the whole querying process is very superficial. I only get a 2D impression of the agents I'm researching, and they only get a 2D impression of me. There's little room for organic connection in the early stages. Which is where most rejections happen. This is the hardest part of the process for me.
Thanks for this essay, Cece. Nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this comparison. 🙂
With dating you meet someone and it either works out or doesn't. Because agents get more than a thousand manuscripts a year, querying is more like being on "The Bachelorette;" there's a mob of guys performing to get the attention of one gal. It's as much about playing the odds as being the perfect mate.
This definition of "querying" is new to me. The old school definition of query is a query letter or to query a publisher, or agent. A query is a first a letter of inquiry, as is described in this piece. It originally referred to the letter sent before sending more of one's writing, or if a publisher required a statement of intent or description about a project.
I have an agent, acquired by default. Her partner was the agent who brought me aboard, and then she left the agency. The owner agent then "inherited" my account. We respect each other and get along well, although the type of material I write (literary) isn't her area of preference to represent. To use your analogy, it's as if I married someone who then died and the sister in the family then by custom had to marry me. Ha. But she's placed three books for me and that's the bottom line!!!!! :-) Or, again the analogy, it's like we successfully had three children together! LOL
I love this metaphor! Before finding the one, it's just as important to know what you don't want. It's almost just as important to know what you DON'T want than just falling in love with the first one who gives you an offer. I am not at the querying stage but this was such a memorable essay. Thank you Cece!
A fun, and helpful, read. Thank you! The analogy works, for sure.
This is a perfect analogy, and I don’t think it’s creepy at all. It’s just TRUE!
I would love Cece as my agent. I've always had her at the top of my list for several reasons:
- I write speculative fiction ( traveling memoir/thriller w/magical realism) which is in her list of submission interests.
- I am Latina ( please NOT Latinx) from neighboring Venezuela to her Brazil so she culturally would understand where I'm coming from re: myths and legends that infuse my stories)
- she seems a very nice person
- I feel the querying process has become like a black hole in the Universe. I'm paralyzed standing at the event horizon looking down into the abyss to the point of singularity every time I start writing that letter.
This is a lovely and actionable article. Thank you, Cece, for your candid point of view. We literary translators have little hope of ever finding representation: "Too little meat on the bone," we've been told over and over again. So instead we try to behave like literary agents for our author without the benefit of any training in how to be an agent. I wonder what your thoughts are on this? Thanks again, for your writing.