10 Magazines Looking for Works on Parenthood (ft. Jessica L. Pavia)
with an essay on Navigating Mother-Daughter Dynamics (Sub Club list #15)
*There is no sandwich this week since our cartoonist had a family emergency. So we’ve reused a past image for consistency.
Our guest writer this week is Jessica L. Pavia, a Pushcart Prize-nominated creative nonfiction writer and author of the Write or Die column, In Defense of Not Writing! Below find her mini essay inspired by Greta Gerwig's portrayal of mother-daughter dynamics in the Barbie movie. Jessica reflects on the evolving nature of her once-inseparable bond with her mother and the complexities of transitioning from childhood dependency to adult independence.
When I leave the Barbie movie, I text my friend: “Greta Gerwig makes every movie about mothers and daughters and that is so personal to me.”
My mother and I have always been inseparable. The two women of our households, we burrow together beneath the brick wall of voices that are the three men we live with. Or, in my case, lived with. But ever since moving out and succumbing to the notion of “becoming an adult,” our relationship has infinitesimally altered in a way I don’t think either of us know how to handle. It’s as if in the pink Barbie corvette of life, our front tire has been losing air so slowly we didn’t at first notice it until the bliss of our road trip was interrupted by the violent thump of emptied plastic hitting road.
What I’m trying to say is, our relationship is not the same as it was. It’s not necessarily bad, it’s just…different. “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they have come,” says the doll’s creator, Ruth Handler, in the film. But, if that's true, then who are we to each other when we’re not wholly dependent on the other? And what if you want your mother to walk with you, if not hand-in-hand then at least sharing the road?
I’ve been trying to navigate these questions without feeling guilty about questioning them to begin with. And I know I’m not the only one. It’s a cliche to say there’s no guidebook to our most unanswerable questions, but there really isn’t one when it comes to growing up with your mother and trying to establish a healthy connection that allows space for both of you to change.
Something that’s helped me is, of course, writing about it. Sitting down at my computer or with my notebook and not fearing the complicated thoughts that fall from it. Mothers and daughters are an enigma, with no one size or story fitting all. (It’s important to mention that I’m coming at this—writing about my mother—from the perspective of someone who has a loving, kind mother.)
For this reason, today’s newsletter features magazines and websites that focus on motherhood, as well as parenthood in general. Whether you’re a mother dealing with a changing relationship with your daughter, or a new parent finally understanding where your own was coming from, your stories can benefit all of us attempting to make our way through this maze with eyes closed and arms outstretched.
If you’re planning on writing about your mother or other parental/guardian figure, here are some things to consider:
Lead with kindness and understanding.
Consider they were daughters or sons or children once, too.
Lean into the unknowable, and don’t pretend to be comfortable with it.
Remember they are a full person outside of you, and allow them that.
Take it slow!
Other than that, I wouldn’t attempt to explain or explore your entire relationship in one piece. Instead, pick a scene or setting that grounds your writing and allows for tangential wonderings to hover around the corners of the page. As you can see in this mini-essay alone, I also find relying on other media forms that are also trying to do the impossible to be helpful in giving me a starting point, and something to lean against when I feel unsure.
Now, onto the mags!
Weekly Specials: 10 Magazines Looking for Works on Parenthood
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